World Care Day 17 February, 2023
Caring is at the heart of Baptcare, central to our mission to deliver the best care to people of all ages, cultures, beliefs and circumstances.
Baptcare offers a range of integrated services for children, young people and families in Victoria and Tasmania. We are proud of the carers and young people in care in our community.
This World Care Day we’d like to spotlight Maggie* and Sam*, as we chat to Maggie about her life as a foster carer with Baptcare.
Maggie has been the foster carer of five-year-old Sam since he was a very young baby.
Sam has special needs, suffering severe PTSD, partial blindness, anxiety and has an acquired brain injury. He has frequent sleep disturbances.
Why did you want to foster in the beginning?
I have always wanted to foster children.
In the beginning, I felt every child should have a happy moment - somewhere they could go - a safe place.
I wanted to foster to give a child that safe place. But now there’s more reasons why I’m a foster carer. I want to advocate for children and give them a voice. That’s my goal now.
Kids don’t get a say without you.
I don’t understand people who put adults first. Children come first in my eyes.
To actually change their life and leave them safe is what I aim to do now.
You have to have so much compassion and empathy, especially with the birth families.
There’s a lot more to caring for a child then just seeing to their basic needs.
Seeing the child going home and happy is a wonderful thing.
What pleasure do you get out of fostering?
Seeing a child make progress, especially a child with special needs, they are just little steps to us, but they are so huge to them.
Children with disabilities often get neglected, pushed aside and put in the too-hard basket but it can bring you so much joy caring for them.
To be able to see a child eat a whole meal or sleep long hours because they don’t have to keep their eyes open and they feel safe – this is really special.
It’s just the little things, the little steps forward.
Progression with Sam is small steps. Last week we were in the food court and he would normally not like to eat there as it’s too noisy and it makes him feel quite exposed. But on this particular day he asked if he could get a roll from Subway and eat it in the food court. That was such a big thing for him.
Every day seeing them achieve the little things is wonderful - that’s what puts a smile on my face.
When you have a placement, you think you are going to change this kid’s life but you are not.
Most of the time it’s about giving them one good thing to hold on to.
What’s the hardest part about caring?
Most children feel they are coming from an okay home because that’s their norm and they don’t understand what’s going on. The young ones don’t understand why they have been taken out of their home.
When children go on a contact visit and then come back to you and ask ‘why aren’t I going home?’ - that’s hard to deal with.
What are the qualities you need to have as a carer? What do you think is most important?
There are so many people who have the heart and want to do it. But if you are not willing to sacrifice part of your life and accept where they are coming from, there’s no point. You have to have empathy, compassion and understanding.
Every child that comes into my home I treat with compassion.
Can you tell me a little bit about your fostering journey?
I’ve never had easy placements.
Every child has been so different
I have learnt something from every child that has come into my home.
I wasn’t blind about the challenges, but they were so extreme.
Cultural differences can be hard. Once I had a child who wouldn’t eat so I went into a food court with the little boy and told him to show me what kind of food he liked so I could cook it for him.
What advice do you have for people who are thinking about becoming foster carers?
If you can’t be flexible and show understanding and empathy, don’t do it.
Ask other foster carers lots of questions but don’t compare yourself to other carers.
Don’t just have a good heart. You need more than that.
Every child has trauma.
The best advice is to continually try and put yourself in their shoes.
What do you think are the most important forms of support for carers?
It’s different with everyone.
Some need reassurances.
Some need to see other carers and feel connected.
I have made some great connections
But having other foster carers around is important.
Is teamwork an important part of being a carer?
Yeah, I didn’t realise how important. A village raises a child. That should be on every billboard.
When you have a complex child it’s really important to have that support.
I send an update to my caseworker twice a week.
It’s the small things that children do and everyone in the team needs to know.
How have family and friends supported you?
My family has been fantastic.
My family have always been open and treated the kids great.
I believe if you have older children, it’s ok to foster younger children.
I have so many photos of my own kids with my kids in care.
When one of the children I cared for told my daughter they loved her it was a special moment.
What do you think more people should know about fostering?
Every child is different and it’s not about showing them the world, it’s about giving them that one safe happy memory.
Sometimes it’s just about putting a bit of normalcy in their lives.
Tell me about the best thing you learnt from training that has helped you?
I had no idea what trauma did to a child before I completed the Baptcare trauma training.
What have you learnt from fostering?
It’s taught me to be more understanding.
It’s taught me to be more grounded and that the little things are the most important things in life.
What do you think more people should know about fostering?
Just do it. As hard and disruptive as it is, it’s so worth it. Even if it’s just short term, if you have the empathy, do it as there’s so many kids out there that need it.
If you could tell a new carer anything what would that be?
Ground yourself and have good friends and family around.
Don’t have any expectations from the child.
Give yourself a break.
You are going to make mistakes and it’s okay.
Find a foster carer to talk to.
If you’re interested in getting involved in foster care with Baptcare, you can read more on our website at https://www.baptcare.org.au/services/foster-care/foster-care
